FAT RAGE

Update 4/14

2010-04-14T18:34:00.000-07:00

So!
I splurged with food today, but that's okay because it's my fourth day in a row working out. So I don't feel bad.

Also, I've reached a point where food tastes way better now, and I'm trying all sorts of new stuff. Case in point: I've never been a big avocado fan, but this week my favorite mid-day snack has been a Wasa cracker with a little bit of cream cheese and avocado.

The Magness Memorial Tree Farm is 10 miles away; a bit far, but a round trip is $2 in gas and a lovely drive. I've discovered a fantastic web of trails that takes you all over the hills; I spent over an hour there yesterday exploring. I plan to hike a few times a week, weather permitting. Already I've been twice this week! The other days I do a mile at the gym. Since I'm terrified of getting sick again I'm taking it really easy.

Food Journal

2010-03-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

So, I've been keeping with the diet really well. It helps to plan it out the day before. One great benefit of doing it this way is that I'm not only becoming much more aware of what I eat/should be eating, but also I'm learning a lot in the process! It takes quite a bit of time, but as I continue to do it I'm getting quicker.

Yesterday:
1/2 c plain yogurt, 1/2 c strawberries, 1 tsp sugar
1 serving fresh pasta, 1/2 c pasta sauce
banana
3/4 c broccoli + 1 tsp butter
salad + low-fat dressing + 6 croutons
cracker snack (prepackaged)
1 c vegetable soup
1 slice whole grain bread + 1 oz ham + 1 slice Havarti
5 cinnamon bears
Protein: 43 g (goal: 52)
Fiber: 15 g (goal: 19)
Carbs: 128 g (goal: less than 100. It was the candy that did it at 33 g)
Total calories: 1200

Today:
1/2 c cracked wheat + 1/2 c milk, 1 tsp brown sugar
1 c vegetable soup
banana
ak-mak (5)
1 slice Havarti
salad + dressing + croutons
yam + 1/2 tbsp butter + 3 tsp brown sugar
granola bar
pre-packaged cracker snack
Protein: 34 g
Fiber: 23 g
Carbs: 160g (the yam and the cracked wheat. oh well.)
Calories: 1215

Getting back into it

2010-03-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well, Spring Break is almost over so I'm gearing up again to diet. I haven't been horrible, per se, but I haven't been losing.

So! I've planned meals out, complete with protein, fiber, and carb info. Today I did great with 1300 calories, 49 g protein, 14 g fiber and about 80 g carbs. That's even going out to eat - true, it was sushi, but that still counts!

I'm off to make my meals for tomorrow. :)

Wed journal

2010-02-24T07:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's exercise: 4 15 min walks. didn't snack last night after dinner. this is huge for me
yesterday's dinner: leftover green curry over rice, edamame

Today: 35 min run- and I didn't get rained on.

Tomorrow's goal: run or JM workout

Tonight for dinner- haddock, rice, and veggies.
Made whole wheat blueberry muffins for breakfast this morning, and need to make more granola today.

Monday journal

2010-02-22T10:25:00.000-08:00

Sunday workout- none, but had a nice stroll along Crescent Beach.

Monday workout- went back to Crescent Beach this morning and had a short 20 min run. Came home and did a JM workout, level two. I need some new tunes to listen to while running....

Tomorrow's goal- 30 min or longer run

2010-02-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

Update: I've lost 10 lbs since Jan 15! Woo! I had sushi for lunch to celebrate. Mmmm...

Saturday journal

2010-02-20T12:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday- no workout, but had a nice walk at Rangley Pond. An ice fishing derby was going on--sounds exciting, eh?

Today- went running for 30 minutes. Another beautiful sunny day.

Tomorrow's goal: 30 min run and JM workout.

So sore!

2010-02-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

Thursday, I started doing yoga again for the first time in three years. I am so sore now! However, I have successfully returned to the gym (just treadmill until I lose about 20 lbs - I'm also going to start doing the stationary bike but someone's always been on it when I'm there).

Tuesday: 40 minutes walking
Wednesday: 40 minutes walking
Thursday: 30 minutes yoga
Friday: 30 minutes yoga, 40 minutes walking
Saturday: rest. I woke up with a headache, anyway. It's sunny outside so I'll probably go get some Vitamin D. It's 54 degrees outside and not a cloud in the sky! *sigh*

Also, the diet is going well. Eating about 1300 calories a day every day this week, except yesterday I splurged a little bit since James made fried chicken. Still, less than 1800 calories, I think.

Thursday Journal catch up

2010-02-18T17:13:00.000-08:00

Went running today- a beautiful, sunny 40 degrees felt great. was gone 30 min, around 3 miles.

Yesterday's workout: JM video

Tuesday workout: nada

Monday workout: JM video

I've been eating very well this week. I made my own no bake energy bars which are fantastic! They have puffed kasha, oats, ground up sunflower seeds and dark choc chips, coconut, chopped cranberries, and almond butter/brown rice syrup to bind together. Yummy and the kids love them. They make a 9x13 inch pan and I keep them in the fridge. Way cheaper than store bought too.

I made a vegetable thai curry last night with green beans and peas, coc milk, fish sauce, raw sugar and basil with some chicken stock, eaten over brown rice. This also went over well with the kids. I usually make this with chicken or tofu as well, but I was out.

I've been trying to have my daily green tea, and if I snack at night I've been either having mint tea or an orange.

Big goals

2010-02-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

I returned to the gym today, feeling recovered enough from my cold that I wouldn't relapse. James had class today, so I've been home alone... which means washing the bed linens (and buying new pillows!), tidying up the bathroom, and of course, exercise. I got such little sleep last night I almost wimped out, but I figured that if it was Wednesday by the time I did it, I'd feel horrible. And while I'm sore now, I think I'll sleep much better.

After a few months of deliberation, James and I have decided that I'm going to apply to an Administrative License program. It's only 11 months and it starts in July. Even if I don't do anything with the license after I get it, I'll jump to the next tier over on the pay schedule (due to all the additional credits), which would mean the license would pay for itself after a couple years. AND Spanish classes are part of the program, which I thought quite smart/progressive. This, of course, means that not only do I have to act more responsible, but also look it. I'm really going to amp up my dieting/exercise so that by the time I start the program, I'll be fit and confident and feel professional. Not like the slob I kinda feel like now.

Now, on to take a shower and crawl into a freshly made bed with brand-new pillows...

Sick Monday Blues

2010-02-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

Both kids have been sick since Sat night- they both have bad colds and coughs. Yuck! Looks like no running today but will do a JM workout instead.

Yesterday I had a great run- 30 minutes with last 1/4 mile sprinting.

This week's goals: more running- which will be tough since the kids are off on vacation. the only time I'll be able to do it is in the morning before Craig goes to work. This will be SO HARD because I'm not a first thing in the morning runner. I need to get used to it because this is what I'll have to do this summer.

Foodwise: trying to eat less wheat and more veggies. Also have been eating more fish.

Update

2010-02-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

My cold is finally subsiding so I think I might go to the gym tomorrow. I've been slacking with my diet, but I don't think I've *gained* weight, so I'm okay with that. Today I had a big/busy/strange day at work and ended up going out with a few coworkers to this fabulous tapas place. It's won awards and it's generally recognized as one of the best tapas places on the west coast. The couple sitting a few seats from us had driven four hours to eat there. So, you know, it's good. I had stuffed dates wrapped in bacon and sitting in warm honey, as well as a baked goat cheese served with a marinara sauce and freshly baked bread. Sooooo good. But I went waaay over calorie limit so I need to get back on the bandwagon.

Ginny, you're doing awesome! Anytime it's under 50 degrees I say it's too cold to run. I can't imagine 35 as being warm.

catch up

2010-02-10T07:33:00.000-08:00

had a great run yesterday- the weather was 35, sunny, and not windy at all. Perfect! was gone 30 minutes so close to 3 miles.

Monday- lots of 10-15 min walks, probably an hour altogether.

Sunday- JM 30 day shred, level 2

Today's goal: stairstepper or JM video.

Week's goal: logging daily exercise here and not snacking after dinner....

Thursday journal

2010-02-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

Today's workout: JM 30 day shred, level two. I totally didn't feel like doing a workout video but I made myself put on my workout clothes and got out my mat and weights, and before I knew it is was over and I felt fantastic. It's like with running how the hardest part is putting on my shoes.

eating weird today- homemade granola with almond milk for breakfast, and granola with choc chips for lunch. Just had some zucchini bread and green tea. Hmm..what to make for dinner. Pasta and veggies for the kids, maybe a smoothie for me.

Thanks Audrey for letting me joining this blog- it helps me stay motivated to keep up the exercise during these freezing winter days....

Sick!

2010-02-03T20:48:00.000-08:00

Bah, I've done little in the past few days. It seems that every time I start a new exercise routine I get a horrible cold. So, I'm in a holding pattern. And I'm sure I've had well over my calories today; I don't feel that guilty since I need good stuff to get better, but still, I feel like a cheater.

I made chicken noodle soup today from scratch! No recipe, except a list of ingredients for the noodles. Originally I had planned to go the whole nine yards and boil the chicken to make stock, but James bought a hot rotisserie chicken instead of a raw one - it didn't matter much, and in hindsight that was probably better anyway. I had organic free-range chicken stock and some veggies lying around the house and just dumped them all in. Surprisingly, it turned out super-good! I had seconds. And more for lunch tomorrow.

I'm annoyed that colds knock me out as much as they do. I went to Urgent Care Monday since my doctor is way up in Tualatin and she's only around two days of the week. The Urgent Care doctor said that since I'm immuno-compromised, medicine doesn't help me much and I get way sicker than normal people. He basically said, "Sorry, I can't do much for you." At least he gave me the Sudafed that was the reason I was there to begin with. I understand the reasons behind the Oregon law, but I'm not cooking meth and I don't appreciate feeling like I have to prove that to doctors, thankyouverymuch. At least he made a joke about it. And gave me free steroid nasal spray to help my stuffiness. And a prescription for an antibiotic if my sinus infection gets worse, not that I'll really use it. Oh! And a refill on the Sudafed. Woot.

Enough rambling. I hope work doesn't make me relapse tomorrow. It's already moving to my chest and I only have six Vicodin left.

Wed workout

2010-02-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

Today's workout: Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, level 2.

Tomorrow's goal: JM workout, stairstepper, or 2-3 mile run. keep plugging away.....

Tuesday journal

2010-02-02T18:29:00.001-08:00

today's exercise: 3 20 min fast walks/runs, 2 15 min walks

good eating today- eating more veggies (yay rainbow chard! and romaine lettuce!) and snacking less.

tomorrow's goal: 2-3 mile run, stairstepper for 40 min, or J.M workout. we'll see if the weather cooperates.

Monday Monday

2010-02-01T15:58:00.001-08:00

Yesterday's exercise: none. I had a friend over and we drank wine and ate homemade chicken noodle soup. also took the kids ice skating at Deering Oaks.

Today's exercise: 2 mile run + 2 20 min brisk walks.

Tomorrow's goal: 2-3 mile run or J.M workout.

Shea butter Saturday and various ramblings

2010-01-30T16:05:00.000-08:00

A friend gave me some unrefined shea butter and I can't believe how awesome it is. My hands feel 20 years younger.

we got a new fridge today. I must really be an adult now because it was very exciting- it was my first big appliance purchase.

The kids biked and rode scooters outside today in a -5 windchill. They're real little Mainers for sure.

Today's workout: Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, level 3.

Tomorrow's workout goal: another 30 day shred or stairstepper. By Monday we'll have warmer weather making a run possible! Fingers crossed....

This week's goal: To not skip one day of exercise. can I do it? stay tuned.....

friday journal

2010-01-29T17:28:00.000-08:00

today's workout: Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, level two. also: 4 10 min walks in windy 10 degree weather has to count for something right?

have been trying to eat nutrient dense foods: oatmeal with almonds for breakfast, hard boiled eggs for lunch, homemade granola for snack, lots of green and peppermint tea, and a yummy turkey/kidney bean taco with shredded lettuce and salsa. Had a huge mocha after dinner (it's friday....) I need to go to Whole Foods tomorrow to stock up on baby carrots and more apples and bananas for snacks.

I like the Jillian Michaels workout- it's a bit short for me, but totally intense and I'm feeling a bit sore today- a good sign. If I can't run, this is a good choice for cardio and strength. I don't care if I'm a total nerd for doing a video workout, plus I can do it with the kids here so there are no excuses for missing a workout.

Tomorrow's fitness goal- I'd love to fit in a run, since Sat and Sun are my days for a long run, but I can't go if the temp is below 20 degrees. Here's hoping for 20+ tomorrow! If not, I'll do another Jillian Michaels or the stairstepper.

endorphins rule!

2010-01-28T17:01:00.000-08:00

today's workout: Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, level three. after four days of not working out I feel human again.

tomorrow I plan to fit in a 3 mile run after I volunteer in Noah's class and before Claire comes home from preschool. Hopefully the weather cooperates! If not, I'll do a stairstepper workout or another Jillian Michaels.

made homemade granola and whole wheat blueberry muffins today. also have been making lots of beans in the crockpot to have handy for beans and rice and burritos.

tomorrow's goal: eat more veggies

Soup.

2010-01-27T17:42:00.000-08:00

Ten reasons why soup is the greatest food ever:
1. It can be quite hearty.
2. So many flavor possibilities!
3. It's easy to make with fresh ingredients
4. Very low calorie
5. You have to eat it slowly, therefore helping you eat less because you'll feel full before you finish.
6. It's so good for you; all those vitamins and minerals
7. You can find quality soups prepackaged if you can't make it yourself.
8. Soups are good for every season; they warm you up in winter but they're nice and light for summer.
9. Soup's fun to eat - there are all sorts of things you can add to it. My favorite is a fancy grilled cheese sandwich with roasted red pepper tomato soup.
10. It is sooooo delicious!

In other news: 6 PM and 1000 calories. Went to the gym right after school and watched half of an Oprah episode about eating healthy. At least it wasn't the Food Network again.

2010-01-26T20:56:00.001-08:00

Yay!

Went to the gym again today. Yesterday I couldn't go because I could hardly move the joints in my legs. I took a hot bath with Epsom salts and enjoyed a leg massage.

Calories: 1220ish.

I'm continuing to drink OJ fortified with Acai berries. At the very least, I'm getting plenty of antioxidants!

2010-01-24T20:42:00.000-08:00

To address my (way) earlier post in August:

I injured my knee and had to quit running for a while. Then the weather turned bad. And although I had been keeping strict tabs on my diet, and had upped my running to four miles four times a week, I gained two pounds in the two months I did it. Since that really shouldn't have happened, I went to my doctor, who tested my thyroid... it was totally normal. So, I'm extremely frustrated. That led to my even stricter diet that I'm on currently.

Anyway, today I splurged and had roughly 15 or 1600 calories. I also started my gym membership and went for the first time today, so I feel pretty good besides the calorie splurge. Regardless of said splurge, I still should have lost weight today.

As of yesterday: 221.0 pounds.

I also ran out of my medicine yesterday. Today I've taken none, but since the amount of medicine necessary for me to feel okay is directly proportional to the amount of food I take, I never got sick! Of course, the day still hasn't come to an end, but that's still not bad at all. And I have an extra stash at work, so I should be fine until my doctor renews my prescription.

I've also started eating acai berry. Whole foods sells a million acai products, the cheapest at the time being a freeze-dried powder. I've been mixing it with juice at night - we'll see if I feel better/lose more weight. At least I'm getting tons of antioxidants.

2010-01-19T20:18:00.001-08:00

Today: I'm at 1250. Will probably eat a grapefruit and/or broccoli, making it 1300-1350. And I'm not starving! Yay!

2010-01-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

I think posting on this jinxes me.

Nevertheless:

I'm a total fatty. I weigh more than I ever have before. But I'm back doing really well with changing my diet, and I'm joining the gym down the street. Woo!

Today: 222.6
Two weeks ago: 226.4

Four pounds down.

Yesterday I had 1300 calories
Today I had 1400

I have awesomeness planned for my foods in the next few weeks. Woo!

2009-08-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

Goal: run/jog/walk 100 miles before Sept. 8th.
Calculated # of calories walking/jogging an average of 4mph for 100 miles will be: 15,000.
Number of pounds 15,000 equals: 4.3.
That seems like too few. But I guess I'm doing 1 hour of exercise five days a week, which is about right.
Tomorrow I will walk it, my muscles hurt. Even mighty pickles cannot soothe my aching bones.
Also: dieting. I'm trying to eat 1500 calories a day, which would mean (averaging the calories I burn exercising per week) a deficit of 930 calories a day. Really I splurge with food so let's round that down to 900. So, on a weekly basis, that means a 6300 calorie deficit, which equates to 1.8 lbs a week. With four weeks before school starts, that means I can lose 7.2 lbs before going back. I'll still weigh more than I did when school got out. Grr. Maybe I'll up my exercising.

Also not figuring that I'm gaining muscles, which burns more calories.

If I go an hour and a half, that would mean about 700 calories, and if I go 5 days a week, that means:
7000 cal deficit per week
2 pounds a week

Maybe 1 hour in the morning and a 30 minute evening walk? Trying to be sustainable and realistic but also trying to get in shape asap.
I need to eat more veggies.

Let's see...

If I average 1.5 pounds per week, it would take me about 33 weeks to lose 50 pounds. It would be mid-March and I would weigh 168 pounds.
I would be happy with 168 pounds. By my birthday, I'd weigh 160.

But we all know that won't happen. However, if I can get down to 175 by my birthday I'll be more than happy. I think that's manageable.

This week: 19 miles.
Total: 25 miles.

2009-03-15T21:39:00.001-07:00

*Have relaxed a bit in the diet and paid the price: not doing so well. Just as I finished getting over a cold, I got another one - after pulling a 52 hour week at school, NOT counting the time spent at home working. Ugh.

Very belated update

2009-03-01T14:05:00.000-08:00

Um, yeah. I've been a bit discouraged/worn out lately so I haven't felt like writing. However, I haven't given up the diet, and although I had one bad week, I've more or less stuck to it - even though I haven't been writing down all my calories. I HAVE been adding them up daily, though, so the habit isn't lost.

Weight last Sunday: 207.4
Weight today: 203.8
Average Calories per day: n/a (probably 1450ish)
Number of days I went over 1500 calories: ?
Number of days I had caffeine: multiple. Like, every day. Ish.
Number of days with fast food: 0
Number of days I had a carbonated drink: 2
Number of days exercised: 1
Hours exercised: 1ish (I've had a terribly bad cold!)

Not sure what caused the jump down in pounds. I weighed myself several times in the week and it was pretty consistent, so today isn't a total fluke (yesterday it was 202.8). Maybe it's been all the water weight with being sick, and as I got better I lost it? Dunno. I DO know I've been less physically active (James even grounded me) - Actually, I've been kind of a lump. Wednesday I even went home before school ended, just to be a lump. But without the sense of taste food has been less appetizing so I haven't eaten much but soup and half peanut butter sandwiches. Kind of pathetic really. Today's our free day and I'm just glad I have a little bit of taste back. Yay!

2009-01-27T21:26:00.001-08:00

mmm! Dinner tonight:

Saute cauliflower, green onions, zucchini, asparagus, carrots, and two chopped-up slices of turkey bacon in a little olive oil (I used my trusty Misto), sprinkle with sea salt, fresh ground pepper, and garlic powder. Sprinkle with mozzarella and freshly grated Parmesan, and voila! 220 calories of filling goodness.

Sunday Check-In #3

2009-01-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

Great things:
*clothes fitting better
*honey-mustard dressing
*soup
*AWESOME support from Hubby
*single-serving Crystal Light packets
*more energy!
*enjoying preparing and planning my food

I had a totally busy week:

Monday was fah-bulous - Liz and I went to Indian Beach, hiked a few hours, and took hundreds of pictures. The hike kicked my butt, too.

Tuesday was a weird PBL (project-based learning) day at school and then I stayed until 5:30 for Homework Help (Liz and I tag-team it every Tuesday).

Wednesday was MACA's Exhibition of Student Work, which kept me busy from 7:30 AM until almost 9:30 PM. That's the only day I went over 1500 calories (that I can accurately count), and it was still under 1600. Woot.

Thursday I was exhausted by the time I got home (still recovering from Exhibition) but didn't want to fall asleep at 7, so while Hubby was at class I went shopping and got a couple shirts from Old Navy, and the most comfortable bra I've ever had in my life at Lane Bryant. A $50 bra for $17, and I know this is TMI but dangit, it made me happy.

Friday I was just glad to be home, and Hubby and Liz and I went to my new favorite sushi place, Fuji's. Hubby tricked me into eating a roll with eel in it, which was way better than the first time I had eel. Liz promised a shower of awesome gifts if I ate one piece of her roll with tuna in it, which I did. I couldn't resist a shower of awesome gifts. But overall, still not an eel or tuna or any raw fish fan. Sushi = yes, raw fish = no.

Saturday I slept in while Hubby went to class. I then trekked to school at 11 to finish up some grading so I didn't have to worry about it this week - it's the last day of the semester on Thursday and I figured it would be nice to not scramble to figure grades out at the last minute. Then I went shopping again for more awesomeness at Old Navy/Lane Bryant. I made Hubby wild rice and mushroom soup for dinner while we lounged on the couch. mmmm...

And now, Sunday!

Weight last Sunday: 210.4
Weight today: 208.8
Average Calories per day: 1496
Number of days I went over 1500 calories: 1
Number of days I had caffeine: 3
Number of days with fast food: 0
Number of days I had a carbonated drink: 3
Number of days exercised: 2.5 (I count Exhibition as 0.5... I DID work a 14 hour day!)
Hours exercised: 3
Not as big a loss as I was hoping, but I need to step up with the exercise thing. Still, at this rate, in two weeks I'll be halfway to my goal!

Sunday Check-In #2

2009-01-18T09:32:00.000-08:00

Weight last Sunday: 213.4
Weight today: 210.5
Average Calories per day: 1438
Number of days I went over 1500 calories: 0
Number of days I had caffeine: 2
Number of days with fast food: 0
Number of days I had a carbonated drink: 1
Number of days exercised: 2 (illness, plus evening staff meeting hindered my efforts somewhat.)
Hours exercised: 2.5

Goal for this week: Lose another two pounds, cut days with caffeine down to 1, keep soda down to 1, and exercise four days (3 hours total).

I met about half my goals last week. Not bad, but could be better. Still, the scale's telling me I'm doing something right so I won't beat myself up about it. :)

great walk

2009-01-17T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to enjoy my walks more and more. Liz and her pug, Mushu, joined me this afternoon in the country for a walk/picture-taking excursion. Three things I got from this time: great company, good exercise, and time with my camera. Yay!

Some photos from today:

On Rick Astley and Nannies.

2009-01-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

Today:

Ate cake for breakfast: 400 calories, I'm guessing. It was delicious, and I managed to skip my mid-morning snack to make up for it. Now, it's almost 9 and I've still got 150 calories!

Went on an hour-long walk after work. It was sunny and beautiful, even though it was pretty cold. I still feel good.

Stocked up on fresh veggies again (new favorite: Honeycrisp apples), and got Hubby some of those disgusting chalky Valentine's hearts. How could I resist? "Call me" in pink is just too irresistible. Also, splurged on a shirt, but when I came home and tried it on it didn't fit quite right - at least it's something to look forward to when I can wear it next month.

Laughed when I read that Nancy Pelosi Rickrolled everybody on her website. Also, a bit disturbed.

Watched Nanny 911 - just to feel better about myself. I know I'm not a parent myself, but I DO teach high school, and man, those parents are idiots.

2009-01-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

My new favorite: Sauteing chicken, cauliflower, green beans and corn, then adding turkey gravy and serving with herb mashed potatoes. Oh man, I made a huge pan of it (just throwing stuff in there, hoping its edible) and the whole pan (including potatoes on the side) was only 1000 calories! I still had about 600 calories left for the day, so I allotted myself half of it but felt stuffed after only about a third. Woo!

Sunday Check-In #1

2009-01-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

Weight last Sunday: 215
Weight today: 213
Average Calories per day: 1513
Number of days I went over 1500 calories: 1
Number of days I had caffeine: 3
Number of days with fast food: 0
Number of days I had a carbonated drink: 3
Number of days exercised: 4
Hours exercised: 2.25

Goal for this week: Lose another two pounds, cut days with caffeine down to 1, cut soda down to 1, and exercise five days (3 hours total).

Reward me!

2009-01-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I need some help brainstorming ways I can reward myself when I'm a good girl. Rewards that don't involve food - which, generally, have been my rewards in the past. Keep in mind that my day from 7:30 AM - 4:30 PM is 100% off limits, unless it's something that can work during school hours. Rewards budget per month is about $20. Any suggestions?

New program

2009-01-07T18:38:00.000-08:00

So I've started a new diet/exercise program and I'm really feeling good about it. I officially started it Monday and already I can feel a difference in my energy level, etc. My white binder that I made with food diary and four months worth of meal calendars goes with me everywhere, and I've been religious about putting stuff in there. This morning's breakfast: "yogurt with blueberries, 130 cal. Two carrot sticks, 20 cal."

One of the best things about eating better, besides the obvious health benefits, is that things taste better now. Those carrot sticks that I grabbed for breakfast were pretty sweet-tasting, but if I'd been eating sugar in the last four days they wouldn't have been. So, it doesn't seem like horrific punishment to eat vegetables anymore.

Also, with my food menu calendars, I've included exercise. I didn't go on a walk yesterday because it was raining, but I've got both other days and that also does not seem like punishment. I guess it might be attitude, but also that I think I'm in a better place as a person now. And this year is going super well so I'm riding that karma for as long as I can!

So, the official starting weight: 215. Blood pressure: 140/80 (as of three weeks ago).

Two years ago...

2008-01-12T21:28:00.000-08:00

I realized today that I'm 35 pounds lighter than I was the day I got married!

35 pounds is a lot. Of course, I kinda cheated. But that was the suckiest way to lose 15 pounds ever.

So, now the clothes that I bought because I was going to GAIN weight is now WAY too big, as clothing that was tight a month ago is now fitting perfectly. And actually, I feel a little awkward. I didn't think that I'd end up with body-image issues from LOSING weight, but I am struggling a little to accept the fact that I went from 197 to 183 seemingly overnight. And my body is shaped a little differently, and I have a big scar.

Prednisone woes

2007-12-05T07:56:00.001-08:00

I've only been on it for a few weeks, but my doctor upped my dosage by 50% yesterday. I've got the "moon-face," swollen hands, appetite, flushed cheeks, dizziness, and nausea. Of course, those side effects may also be due to the Flagyl or Cipro as well, but I've been on those before and not experienced these side effects. My one consolation is that it hasn't made me totally break out yet--but the Cipro is fighting that battle, and I've only got three days left on it. So I have that to look forward to. So not only is my face BIGGER, but it will be pimply too. The kids will wonder what strange ailment makes me look like a freak... especially when the weight really starts packing on. I've got to buy fat pants today.

On the agenda today: pick up the rest of my medications, buy one of those ginormous pill boxes (this time I really can't keep the dosages straight without referring to the doctor's sheet), and check a couple stores for some clothes that I can actually fit into right now. I'm down to just one or two pairs of pants, and a dress. Unfortunately, this isn't the right time of year, so my choices are few. Wish me luck.

Feeling better

2007-07-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been good and I've lost two of the pounds that I gained back! Only 3 to go. (I'm at about 195 now.) It seems that my metabolism had been used to processing 2000 calories for so long (since I've been bad) that once I started back on the diet I'm losing weight like I did when I first started the whole thing. That makes me feel hopeful!
This whole thing just sucks because I love love love food. And I'm getting more into cooking lately (I think it's the summer/farmer's market thing) so I think all day long of all the scrumptious things I could be cooking up but then I count up the calories and I wouldn't be able to stuff my face with the deliciousness like I like to do when I make something new and tasty. But then, my jeans are starting to fit again, so that keeps me in line.

Too long, bad news.

2007-07-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

Yikes! I've been neglecting this blog lately, and I really need to start writing it on a weekly basis. I think it will help keep me dedicated.

Speaking of dedication--I gained 5 lbs back. grr. I was so close to my second goal (191) I could almost taste it--but instead, I tasted delicious pizzas and chocolates and ice creams.

Today, though, I was good. I'm at exactly 1500 calories, and I walked a mile. This morning I drove down to the Farmer's Market and parked a good half-mile away on purpose. It's funny how something so little as that can make you feel better. Anyway, I got some cherries and strawberries and a zucchini and walla wallas. And purple flowers for the kitchen table.

I'm hoping that after our upcoming move (in two weeks), and especially once school starts, a regular schedule will help me keep focused. At least, it did last year, when I lost the 20 lbs. Oh, and you know how the doctor's scale always seems to be on the heavy side? Well, I went to the doctor last week, and the scale 1) seemed accurate, and 2) showed a 21-lb weight loss since the last time I'd been in. Well, that's a first!

I'm Edumacated!

2007-05-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, the 5th, I walked in Graduate Commencement. Now, I sorta have a Master's Degree! (the diploma says differently)

Claire and Noah playing in the background. Mom, Ginny, Claire, Noah, and James came to cheer me on. I'm certain that the more advanced degrees a person earns, the sillier he/she looks on graduation day.

I spent the previous Wednesday with Mom and Dad. We went all over the place! Cannon Beach (ate at Mo's), the cheese factory, the Spruce Goose, MACA's open house, and out to eat with Hubby. It was a really great day.

It's time again

2007-04-29T19:42:00.000-07:00

All right, my rediculousness has gone on long enough.
Not only have I not lost any weight in FOREVER, but I've gained a pound or two. Or three, maybe. And I was only ONE pound away from my first target weight. Gah!
So, here I go again...
I pledge to keep track of each and every single thing that I eat every day on my calorie counter.
I pledge to exercise at least two hours every week (for starters). This will happen, in part, by my pledge to wake up at 6 AM to hike or jog or what have you.
I pledge to not eat anything past 8 PM, unless I'm on a date.
I pledge to not eat more than an average of 1500 calories a day (that is, if I eat 1400 calories one day, I can eat 1600 calories the next. Yadda, yadda.).
I pledge to weigh myself every morning, and keep a list of my daily weigh-ins.

Spring has sprung, yadda yadda

2007-03-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

Lost another pound (193ish now). Walked 2.5 miles on the nature trail this morning. It felt great!
Planning two hikes: perhaps one next Saturday (Horsetail Falls), and for-sure an overnight trip on the 31st. Anyone care to join me?

Back in the saddle

2007-03-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

I'm strict strict strict again. Stocked up good food in the new place, take my lunch to school. Today: 194.0. If you notice, to the left and up top is a countdown of how many pounds I have left to lose until I'm no longer "obese." Even if I don't post, I usually keep that updated. And soon that number (which, today, is 3) will be ginormous again when I change it to "pounds to lose before I'm no longer "overweight."
I have renewed hope that I can do this! School keeps me on my feet all day, not to mention stressed out at times, and I've been burning more calories. Plus, I have the nature trail by the apartment, and the rain is starting to let up... welcome, Spring!

Finally...

2007-02-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

Since the holidays, my discipline has been terribly inconsistent. I need to rededicate myself to the diet and start exercising again.

...Fortunately, I haven't gained any weight. And actually, as of this week, I've officially lost 20 pounds! I have regained hope and energy.

And James and I have a new apartment! We're moving into a smaller place, downsizing our possessions, and living more simply. And we'll be living in a great location! Right up the hill from OHSU, a block and a half from the Marquam Nature trail, and less than 10 minutes to downtown (and James' work). Closer to friends, entertainment, nature... just about everything but a grocery store. And that, I have a feeling, will be a bit of a blessing.

Victory!

2006-12-17T11:09:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty bad lately, but for the majority of the time I've been sticking to the diet. I haven't been exercising, which I rationalize by reminding myself that it's been the last two weeks of classes and I've been at the middle school full time... which, really, is strenuous by itself. But still, I know I can make time. It's only 30 minutes, right?
The last few weeks I've held steady at about 202.5. Disappointed that I wasn't losing any, but glad that I wasn't gaining. Still, really frustrating considering that most of the time, I am only eating 1500 calories, and many days that's been torture. I stopped weighing myself every morning, and as of today I hadn't weighed myself in a couple of days.
So that's why I was shocked this morning to step on the scale and see "198.6." I stepped off and recalibrated it. "198.6." Hmmm... I left, ate two eggs for breakfast (I got a double-yolked egg this morning for the first time in my life! A good omen, perhaps?), came back, and stepped back on. "199." I think I can officially say that at this moment, I weigh less than 200 lbs! That is the first major milestone for me! Woohoo!
I must add that now, the only pants that really fit me properly without needing help to stay up are two pairs that I could barely squeeze into two months ago. The rest of them (two of the pairs are purchases from this summer, that fit me quite well then) fall down without help. Yes!

Bah!

2006-12-06T21:28:00.000-08:00

This morning: 202.0. I'm a couple pounds behind schedule, which aggravates me, but I'll get over it eventually. This past week has been super hard, but I'm back on track. Hopefully my shoulder will heal soon so I can pick back up on my exercise routine. Did I sabotage myself? It's a possibility.

I remember a conversation with my good friend Janeal when I very first started dating James. I told her all the cool things about him, and her response? "Don't sabotage this one, Audrey." I did. ...but I fixed it later! I hope I don't have to learn the sabotage lesson twice. :)

Avoidance

2006-12-03T16:13:00.000-08:00

I haven't been posting because I'm feeling guilty.

Since last Tuesday, I haven't exercised one bit, and for two days I threw the diet out the window. I didn't go overboard, but I ate more than I usually do. One reason: I'm feeling a little under the weather, and my shoulder/back isn't better yet, and I'm under a huge level of stress. By Wednesday night most of that will be alleviated, but until then, gaaahhh!!!

So, I think I gained a pound back. Not so sure how I did that, maybe I'm retaining water or something. I don't think I've had more than 2200 calories on any single day, so maybe my metabolism has slowed way down? Who knows. I should be burning about that amount a day anyway. Frustration!

It's all relative

2006-11-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

Last spring, I changed my diet for three months with little result. I cut back to 1800 calories a day, max... and lost only a couple pounds. Hence, the 1500 cal/day. Back then, if I had 1700 calories, I had a totally successful day--1700 calories then was skimpy! And usually, I was still hungry.
...But now, 1700 calories is naughty. It's bad. It's fatty. It's failure.

I had 1700 calories today. Do you want to know why I'm such a glutton?

I got called in to work yesterday evening, and I had to go right back at 7 Am this morning. I worked until after 4, and I had a really productive day. Working at NW makes me super hungry--I spend lots of time running around and such. Now I know why I gained weight after I quit last December. Anyway, I worked very hard Saturday night and Sunday morning/afternoon. And I was hungry. And we have a new crock pot, which we tried out today--so yes, I ate some of the deliciousness that came out of it--all 445 calories of my serving. Did I have to eat all 445 calories? Probably not. But I was hungry.

Lots of people have told me that 1500 calories isn't very much, especially for someone of my "frame," and that I shouldn't let myself go hungry--to eat, when my body says "feed me!"

...But when I do that, I end up eating 1700 calories. True, my BMR is about 1700 calories, which means there's really no way I can gain weight eating only 1700 calories, it still feels like I'm being bad, that I'm eating too much, that I need to exercise much more to make up for it.

And now these arguments make me feel like I'm developing an eating disorder, even though I'm still a healthy eater... and I think, is there a balance? Can I lose weight and not have this thought process? And when I lose all the weight I want, will I be able to break out of it? Will I still feel like 1700 is a bad number? If I feel like I'm going crazy because I'm punishing myself for 200 more calories today that I "should" have, then how does one hold herself accountable, maintain discipline? Shouldn't I be feeling bad about that?

Uh oh

2006-11-23T11:28:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has ever worked on my back knows that I have a permanent knot village near my left shoulderblade.
I think that village is being invaded by Godzilla, and the villagers are fighting back with sharp sticks and trebuchets and arrows lit on fire, and Godzilla doesn't like those things so he's becoming angrier and destroying more huts and public buildings.
Somehow, I've hurt by back and it hurts hurts hurts more than I've ever hurt my back before. It's muscle ache, so I'm not too worried about it being serious... I just wished I had some good muscle relaxers right about now.

Anyone? Anyone?

Steady

2006-11-21T00:09:00.000-08:00

Holdin' steady at 203--good!
I've been getting lazy about exercising. Tomorrow: newly committed. I will wake up, jog for 25 minutes, do yoga for 20, and weight lift. Making up for weekend laziness.

I tried on a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear since last year. They fit! Yay for pink pants!

mmm... fudgcicle....

2006-11-18T19:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning: 203.8
This morning: 203.2

...which means I'm exactly on track of where I want to be! It also means that in a month and a half, I've lost 22% of the weight that I want to lose (55 pounds). I know it's going to get harder to lose the weight, but it's comforting to know that I've already accomplished over 1/5 of my goal. That's a lot.

...Just finished my cardio. Also did weights for 15 minutes. I was so sore this week! I took a big long nap this afternoon, after finishing two more Praxis tests.

No frills, no gimmicks.

2006-11-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

This blog is all about pain, hunger, frustration, and failure.

...But it's also about my growing strength, willpower, esteem, and triumphs.

To make something public is to make it real--my success and stepbacks now are not known only to me. Makes me more accountable.

Today: 205.6
Six weeks ago: 215.9
Ten pounds! About 50 to go. *big breath*

What I've been doing: Yoga every 2-3 days, weight training every 2-3 days, cardio at least every other day. Soon, Pilates, thanks to Ginny.

Eating about 1400-1500 cals a day.